rezzys!

Hello Friends!

I am one of those weirdo freaks who actually LOVES New Year's resolutions and occasionally sticks to them!  I love the process and idea of renewal. I think it's because it often entails CHANGE in a big way, and I LOVE CHANGE. 

I always write down my resolutions and a few steps that I will need to take to achieve them.  Generally, I make it public for pseudo-accountability purposes.  So, here I will lay bare my deepest desires for 2012--enjoy!

1. Truly adopt a passion for my own health. 

People who read this are probably thinking, 'uh... isn't that like all you care about?'  Well, yes and no.  I am much better at reading/learning/preaching about health than I am about LIVING these values.  I love that health is both a science and a spiritual path.  I am not big into fluffy-puffy spirit stuff, but in order to be truly healthy, you must take care of your spiritual side.  This doesn't necessarily mean God or whatever, it could just mean coming into greater awareness of yourself (which is actually a Buddhist tenant!).  For me, committing to being passionate about my own health means I need to learn to appreciate what a healthy me looks and feels like.  I want to truly love my body in 2012, and in order to do that, I plan on doing/continuing the following paths:

• My weightwatchers journey will continue.  And this time, it won't stop when I make my goal weight.
• I will drink at least 2L of water a day.  Get those kidneys good and healthy.  :)
• I will weight train and get the biceps of my dreams.  Strength just feels SO darn good.
• I will move closer to veganism and read more about the relationship between all animals and our earth.  For me, veganism is the happiest way to eat.  I find it challenging, but as I move closer toward eating vegan (which is very different than being vegan), I find myself in greater sync with my spiritual side.
• I will complete my first BIG RACE--I haven't yet decided whether this will be a full or a half marathon, but I think I am finally ready to tackle this feat.  The fourth year of medical school is DECIDEDLY more chill than the first three, so I'll actually have time!  [sub-goal: I will track these runs/miles on a paper calendar]
• I will work toward a more consistent yoga practice.  Nothing has a more dramatic impact on my mental health.  Except perhaps the Fluoxetine.
• I will continue to take Fluoxetine.  :)
• I will continue to be a good partner to my love, Jess.  The fact that we can be supportive of each other's paths in life makes health SO much more attainable.

2.  Improve correspondence. 

Pathetic but true: this has been on my list for years (I actually think it might have been on my list for a full decade now).  For some reason, I can be absolutely terrible with returning texts/calls/emails/letters.  I have the best intentions: I'll do it later so I have time to give a thoughtful response!  I'll do it later so I can use the nice stationary!  I'll do it later so I can... whatever.  Either way, I have LOTS of room to improve here.  You would think the advent of wonderful new technology would have improved my ability to be responsive, but if anything, it has brought me a significantly greater level of anxiety.  There are approximately a million ways people can get a hold of me: facebook, twitter, this website, call, text, email, PAGE!  UGH!  So, a few tactics to manage the masses (ha).

• I will prioritize communications.  MS4C and Jess will receive the most timely responses.  What is a smart phone for if I can't send off quick responses?

• If an email merits greater consideration, I will send a quick response saying just that.  Perhaps something along the lines of, "Hey, I got your email and I want to give it greater thought.  I will contact you at length within a day or so."  Then I can CC myself so that I have a reminder in my inbox.  BAM.  Efficiency!
• I will make greater use of my ToDo app which was a great tool when I was using it consistently.  Who doesn't love an app that allows you to make checklists!
• I will attempt to have less anxiety over phone calls.  I feel like my generation has a phone phobia--or is it just me justifying this phobia by putting it on my entire generation?  Regardless: I need to return calls more speedily.  I am going to set a goal of a 36 hour turnaround.  Baby steps.
• I will consistently send thank you notes to all deserving parties.  I still think nothing replaces a nice, hand-written note.

3.  Be the most authentic Em possible.

There is a theme in my life and a significant pressure to be 'more professional.'  I have always questioned what this means in the context of medical school.  Professionalism is often sold to us as some sort of dress code.  To me, it is synonymous with integrity.  I feel like 'being me' often means insulating myself from influences that often suggest I should change who I am.  Medicine is an art as far as I am concerned and I hope to never change my behavior to conform to some ideal that seems far from ideal.  I have a number of challenges ahead this year (Board, residency applications, etc) and I want to face them head-on, as me.

• I will remember who I am at all costs--I will not sink to behavior that I find deplorable simply because it is the norm.

• I will cut my hair/get tattoos/express myself in a way I see fit.  So long as I am comfortable, others can be comfortable in my presence as well.
• I will interact with people as my most authentic self.  I will 'show up' as the person I want to be. 
• I will express compassion and empathy as much as I want--I will not hide behind a veil of knowledge or 'professionalism.'

These are my core goals for the year.  There are a few random goals I have, as well. 

4. Depend less on caffeine.  Try to find rest and renewal in appropriate ways (sleep, exercise).

5. Attempt to remain calm in the residency search process.  Life is so much more than a four-year parcel of knowledge.  I.  Can.  Do it.

6. Make the best of the wardrobe I have.  I have an amazing collection of clothing and I don't wear enough of it!  Time to make better use!  (This is not to say new acquisitions won't be made, but rather I should explose the options already present.)

7. Understand my relationship with money.  This will be work.  I have a few books that may help me with this quest. 

8. Be the best darned MS4C president I can be!

And, yes, I am still working on the Ten Things entries.  I may have missed my own, self-imposed deadline, but they will come. :)