10. My relationship with Jess.

Perhaps it's obvious why this was formative.  Jess is my first GIRLfriend.  I have had quite a few BOYfriends.  There is an obvious difference there.  Jess is also my first live-in-love, which is a huge change for me.  Especially seeing how much I love my alone time. 

But Jess is a formative relationship in other (arguably much more important) ways.  For one, Jess lived through a really ugly bout of depression with me.  I barely wanted to live with myself, and yet she stuck by my side.  It wasn't so striking when I was going through it, in fact, I acutally asked her to leave (this will all be detailed in a later post).  However, when I look back at that time--how horrible I felt, how gray everything seemed--I am amazed she cared enough to stay.  I am amazed I didn't convince her to leave. 

Jess has taught me quite a bit about myself.  When you are first dating someone new and you care for them so much, it's suddenly easy to find all the reasons you are a terrible partner.  You become pre-occupied with your shortcomings and hope they don't figure them out.  Jess was the first significant other I've had, though, that I felt comfortable bringing these things up.  I could tell her why I was feeling insecure without worrying that she too would see my shortcomings and flee.

Jess is a beautiful human being.  She has a heart of gold and is the most loyal and caring friend anyone could ask for.  I amazed the lengths she would go to for her friends.  She is beyond thoughtful and is always willing to take time for anyone who needs her.  Honestly, I can't believe how lucky I am to have her.

And for the first time in my life, I look forward to the idea of getting married.  It doesn't scare me or make me wince.  Jess knows what she's getting herself into with me, and I appreciate that. 

Jess supports me completely in my med school ventures (and all the other things I find myself doing).  She doesn't get jealous or mad when I am at work late.  When I doubted my abilities she is right there to tell me how incredible/smart/whatever I am.  And she means it!  Crazy!

Our relationship has been good for my health.  I hope it's part of my life for as long as I live.  :)